「内向型を強みにする」を読んで今一度自分がどう生きていくのか考えてみた

私がTEDの中で一番衝撃を受けたプレゼンテーションです。内容を要約すると次のようなお話です。

  • 世の中の2,3人に1人は内向的な人たちがいて、社会の偏見に悩まされている。もっとこの人たちが活躍しやすいように学校や企業など社会の仕組みを変えていく必要がある。
  • ルーズベルトやガンジーなど歴史的な偉人の中にも内向的な人は多く、彼らはみな自身の深い思索の旅の中からアイデアを生み出して来た。
  • 今日の社会はグループワークを強制することで内向的な人が全く活躍できない状態になっているのは問題である。
  • 内向的な人たちは自分の知識や能力を出し惜しみせず、ぜひ他人に積極的に見せてあげて欲しい。

私も小さい頃から自分が内向的だという自覚があったので非常にしっくり来ました。子どもの頃からよく友達の誘いを断って、用事もないのに家に帰っては一人でキン消しで遊んだり、ミニ四駆で遊んだり(U30はわからんかな。)。中学高校とその傾向は増していき、集団行動を取ることに対して消極的になっていったのを覚えています。あの時期特有の、「つるむ感じ」とか大嫌いでしたね。

でも、決して社交的じゃない訳では無くて、朝になればみんなでサッカーして遊び、週末は少年野球に通い、みんなの前でふざけたり人気はある方だったのかなと。そんなお調子物の自分と、外で遊べない雨の日が待ち通しかったりする自分との内面性の違いに戸惑っていたような気がします。

このプレゼンテーションを見て、「内向的(introverts)」というものについてアカデミックに研究が進められていることにとても驚きました。

自分が内向的などうかは本書の中にあるチェック項目で調べられます。

  1. 休息が必要なときは、グループで過ごすよりも自分だけか、二、三人の親しい人と過ごす方が好ましい。
  2. プロジェクトに携わるときは、細切れでなく、まとまった長い期間を与えてもらう方がいい。
  3. 話しをする前に予行練習をすることがよくあり、時には自分用のメモをつくる。
  4. 概して話すよりも聞く方が好きだ。
  5. 人から物静かだ、謎めいている、よそよそしい、冷静だとも思われることがある。
  6. 祝い事は、大きなパーティーを開くより、ひとりの人か、数人の親しい友人だけでしたい。
  7. 通常、返事をしたり、話したりする前には、考えなくてはならない。
  8. たいていの人が気づかないような細かなことに気づく。
  9. ふたりの人が喧嘩をした直後には、緊迫した空気を感じる。
  10. 何かをすると言ったら、ほとんどの場合、その通りに実行する。
  11. 仕事に締め切りや緊急性があると不安を感じる。
  12. あまりに多くのことが同時進行していると朦朧としてしまう。
  13. 何かに参加するかどうかを決めるのは、しばらく見学してからにしたい。
  14. 長期的な人間関係を築くほうだ。
  15. 他人の邪魔をするのは好きではない。邪魔されるのも好きではない。
  16. たくさんの情報を取り込んだときは、整理するのにしばらく時間がかかる。
  17. 刺激の多すぎる環境は好きではない。世間の人がなぜホラー映画を見に行ったり、ジェットコースターに乗ったりするのか、さっぱり分からない。
  18. 匂い、味、食べ物、天候、騒音などに強い反応を示すことがある。
  19. 創造的で想像力に富んでいる。
  20. たとえ楽しんだとしても、社交的な催しの後は消耗してしまう。
  21. 人を紹介するより、紹介されるほうが好きだ。
  22. 人のなかや活動の場に長くいすぎると、不機嫌になることがある。
  23. 新しい環境には、しばしば居心地の悪さを感じる。
  24. 人に家に来てもらうのは好きだが、長居されるのは好きではない。
  25. 怖くて折り返しの電話をかけられないことがよくある。
  26. 人と会ったり、突然発言を求められたとき、頭が空っぽになることがある。
  27. ゆっくりと、あるいは、とつとつとしゃべる。疲れてる時や、考えながら話そうとしているときは、特にその傾向が強くなる。
  28. ちょっとした知り合いは、友達とは考えない。
  29. ちょっとしたかたちになるまで、自分の作品やアイデアは他人に披露できないと感じる。
  30. 周囲の人に、自分で思っているより頭がいいと思われて驚くことがある。
チェック結果(マルの数)

20-30: 内向型の傾向高い。自分の考え、印象、希望、価値観を通じて世の中と関わっている

10-19: 両利きの人のように内向型でも外向型でもある。一人になりたいという気持ちと、外出して人と関わりたいという気持ちの板挟みになることがある。それぞれの時に自分を元気にさせるのはどちらなのかに意識を向けましょう。

0-9: 外向型の傾向が高い。

私は25個マルがついたのでだいぶ内向型よりということでしょうか。ただ、TEDの中でスーザン・ケイン氏もおっしゃっていますが、完全な内向型というのは無くて、外向型⇔内向型というのは連続しているそうです。飲みに行きたい気分の時もあれば、絶対嫌っていう時もありますよね。確かに気分一つとっても変わるのかなと。

チェック項目を見ると、内向型の中でもいろいろと違いがあるようですね。私の場合は、特に外からの刺激が多すぎるというのが嫌という項目は良く分かりませんでした。パーティーとか、うるさい場所とか、嫌いな訳ではありません。逆に他の人の目線が気にならなくて良いからです。

一方で、「人に家に来てもらうのは好きだが、長居されるのは好きではない。」とか「人と会ったり、突然発言を求められたとき、頭が空っぽになることがある。」とかは、もう本当によく分かります。

私の場合は、グループワークが苦手なのです。誰かの目線がということは無いのですが、集団の中で皆の意見を聞いた上で自分の考えをのべたり、そういったことが全くダメですね。大体が、ナニイッテンダコイツってなります。会議で進行を出来る人というのは外向的な人なんでしょうね。

本書の中では、こうした内向的な人たちが苦手な電話対応や、会議への対策、パーティーを途中で抜ける方法など様々な対処方法が出てきます。外向的と内向的、その両方の人たちがお互いの特性を認め合って協力しあえるようになったらきっと良い社会になるのでしょうね。

また、私自身を振り返るとやはり外向的であろうと努力をしてきた気がします。もちろんそれは大事なことだと思いますが、自分の特徴を知って、ありのままの(♪~)自分を認めてあげることも大事だなと感じました。小さい頃ひとりで遊びたがっている自分がいたら、「そのままでいいんだよ」と、声をかけてあげたいです。そんな気持ちにさせてくれる本でした。

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